 Question
Hello,
how are you? I have a question for your forum apologetica that I hope
you will have the time to answer. It concerns questions of modesty and
what is and isn’t proper for men and women to wear. In his book MERE
CHRISTIANITY C.S. Lewis said, “While the Christian rule of chastity
universally the same and binding for all Christians and all times and
places, the social rule of modesty is not. A girl in the Victorian age
covered from head to toe and a girl in the Pacific islands wearing
hardly anything may be equally modest according to their own society’s
standards and, for all we know, equally chaste.”
Would you agree
with this quote? I don’t know how to feel about it. It sparks lots of
other questions, such as what we are to wear in church. Some churches
maintain that women must wear hoods on their heads in church, while
others say Paul’s instruction on that was a cultural issue, not
universally and permanently binding.
Looking
through history, it gets more confusing, because standards have changed
so much. One hundred years ago, a woman wearing pants would have been
accused of dressing in a scandalous and inappropriate manner, whereas
now Christians who say that are written off by most as being
“legalists.” A few decades ago, some churches seemed to condemn guys
wearing earrings on the grounds that it was “cross-dressing” but now
that earrings are so common among guys and girls, few raise that
objection. Just as a woman wearing pants might have been accused of
“cross-dressing” or wearing men’s clothes a hundred years ago, few
say that now.
I
just am confused. If I had to say what I’m inclined to believe right
now, I would agree that dress codes and rules of modesty do differ from
place to place and from time to time. I would also lean towards
believing that it’s unwise to make a snap judgment about someone’s
chastity based on their apparel. But I certainly might be wrong.
I
hear some say, “If we profess to be Christians, we should dress like
it, and not dress in a manner that might make our brothers and sisters
stumble.” I agree with that, but how is one to know specifically what
is and what isn’t appropriate? The Bible offers principles, but few
outright specific rules, such as “Wear this,” or “Don’t wear
this.” So please help me know how to apply these principles.
I
look forward to hearing your response. Thank you so much. God bless you.
Response
When
one is attempting to discern the answer to the question you are asking,
it proves helpful to reverse C. S. Lewis’s quote such that we now read
“While the social rule of
modesty is not the same at all times and places, the Christian rule of
chastity remains the same and is binding for all Christians at all times
and places. In other words,
the timeless, authoritative and unchanging principles found in Scripture
regarding chastity and ethical behavior supersede or govern over the
varying and shifting time-and-geographic bound social norms and
practices of the age. This
truth teaches us that just because certain social norms, be it in dress
or behavior, are accepted and practiced by others (whether we are
referring to a specific people group or an individual), it does not make
it right for Christians to do so. The
standards of righteousness and purity that we are called to follow far
exceed those defined or demonstrated by the world.
Some may look for a loop hole as a result of the order that Lewis
presents these two truths, but I do not believe that was his intended
meaning. The common phrase
“when in Rome, do as the Romans” does agree with Christian
principles concerning chastity.
The Bible has much to say about this issue.
The seventh commandment deals with chastity directly. The duties required include ‘chastity in body, mind,
affections, words, and behavior; and the preservation of it in ourselves
and others; …keeping chaste company, modesty in apparel; … shunning
all occasions of uncleanness, and resisting temptations thereunto” and
the sins forbidden included “… all unnatural lusts; all unclean
imaginations, thoughts, purposes, and affections; all corrupt or filthy
communications, ,,, wanton looks, impudent or light behaviour, immodest
apparel; … and all other provocations to, or acts of uncleanness,
either in ourselves or others.” (WCF Lg. Cat, Q:138, 139)
In 1 Pet 3, we read ‘Your beauty should not come from outward
adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine
clothes. Instead, it should
be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet
spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” The ultimate issue here is misplaced values, affections, and
methods. Without listing
the many other passages that deal with this subject, let it be noted
that the attitude and spirit the Scripture calls for is one that seeks
righteousness and holiness, and is not primarily concerned with the
question “How much can I get away with?”
Rather, it asks “How might I glorify God, edify my brethren,
and avoid even the perception of evil?”
At the same time that we are to avoid “legalistic” practices,
we are also to avoid “licentiousness” – the spirit that says since
we are free, let us do whatever we want”. Christians are not to use our freedoms as an excuse to sin.
Christian liberty is the better principle that leads one in the
holiness of the Spirit and in freedom to do what is right.
When it comes to making “snap judgments” about someone based on
their apparel, one must be careful.
I once was tempted to judge a particular person I saw on
television based on his appearance, only to learn later that he was an
intelligence agent who had different motives for dressing the way he
did.
On the other hand, it is also true that often, our dress and behavior is
an expression of who we are and what we want others to think concerning
us. Often, a rebel will
display his attitude through the way he combs his hair or through his
choice of clothing. Likewise,
a person who does not find their love and significance in Christ will
choose to wear suggestive clothing in order to attract attention from
others. Sometimes, it’s
not just the provocative dress, but the radical dress, the un-kept
dress, the expensive dress, the stylish dress, the business dress, etc.
that can reveal one’s heart and motives.
While it’s not the dress per se; often the choice of dress, the
way one dresses, the way one does not dress, etc., all makes a statement
and can be an indicator of our hearts.
For example, I regret an experience in my early ministry where
all the signs of trouble were present, but I dismissed them as simply
being something that was culturally accepted.
My wife and I went to a lunch where upon our arrival, an
attractive high school girl drove up in her hot red sports car, and got
out wearing a short leather dress that shouted “look at me’ so much
so that before I even saw her my wife punched me and said “Don’t
even look at her!’ Unfortunately,
I just dismissed her appearance as “one who I’m sure the guys in her
school think she’s striking!” It
was not long until I received the word that she was pregnant out of
wedlock. I learned a lesson
from that experience… no longer will I look upon a person’s dress as
simply an expression of the culture around them.
Paul speaks of this new attitude in 2 Cor 5:16 stating “So from
now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view.”
When it comes to the question of “What is appropriate clothing given
the social context?”; it’s obvious that Christians must be aware of
and sensitive to the culture around them, but at the same time we must
remember we are to be ‘in the world, but not of the world.”
It’s true that details concerning the venue and occasion for an
event will come into play when deciding what one should wear to an
event. For example, it
would be inappropriate to wear a swimsuit to a wedding or a wedding
dress to the beach. This
should be kept in mind even when attending services at church.
One must consider the fact that they are coming before the king
of the universe, and should also consider that to dress in a manner
inconsistent with others might be to draw attention to oneself and
detract from the worship of God.
When it comes to specific questions such as whether slacks or dresses
should or should not be worn, the greater issue to consider is the
motive behind why the person is pressing the issue.
Is the lady who chooses to wear slacks doing so because she
believes tradition has usurped the freedoms we have in Christ, or is she
doing do so in a spirit of rebellion and self-centeredness?
Likewise, do others in that church maintain tradition simply
because “it’s what we’ve always done, and therefore it must be
right!” or because they are concerned that it is a better practice
given the fact that men in the congregation might be distracted by it?
These issues run much deeper than just the surface question.
However, there are issues where Scriptural principles guide
us in our decisions. For
example, as you stated, the Bible is clear that men are not to be
effeminate in their dress and behavior.
While the cultural norms and influences factor into this issue,
the biblical principle remains. The
wisdom of Scripture is found in that it does not delve into all the
specifics, but provides the guiding principles to supply us with all
that is needed for a life of holiness.
This can be frustrating at times when we would like more detailed
answers, but as one grows in maturity and discernment, the way of the
Scripture proves best. (As
an aside, on the issue concerning men wearing ear rings, the use of ear
rings in biblical times was a sign of one being in submission or under
bondage. In the present
day, this bondage is not physical, but spiritual.)
Concerning your statements that “… we should not dress in a
manner that might make our brothers and sisters stumble. I agree with
that, but how is one to know specifically what is and what isn’t
appropriate?” the
best advice to follow is that IF
YOU HAVE TO ASK THAT QUESTION … you probably should not be wearing it,
or it might be better to make a different selection.
For example, if a person sees nothing wrong with wearing a sun
dress to church, but thinks others might possibly take offense at it; a
selection of another outfit that would be just as pleasing to her but
avoids the issue of possible offense, eliminates the issue.
In this case, the individual displays the freedom to give up
their rights for the peace and purity of the body.
However, we must remember that it is possible to allow the
legalistic pressure and opinion of others to keep us from doing what is
right, and enjoying the freedoms we have in Christ.
There is a fine but distinct line between legalism,
licentiousness, and Christian liberty.
Blessed is the one who learns to distinguish between them and
exercises discernment in the decisions they make.
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